In Loving Memory of My Father

Sorry I disappeared for a while. I had planned to write all about my trip to Lake Tahoe and I ended up not going. Pregnancy, although a wonderful thing, has been taking its toll on my health but thankfully, our baby is doing great. There is no rhyme or reason as to why some days I feel great and other days I feel terrible but I am just trying to roll with whatever life throws at me.

Anyway, the focus of this blog post is not pregnancy related (shocker!). The focus of this post is on someone who still plays a huge role in my life: my father.

Always Missing You

Today would have been my father’s 70th birthday. It’s a hard thing to process/write about and I am not sure how to feel today. I lost my dad just before my 13th birthday and I can remember the events surrounding his death as if it were yesterday.

I miss him and wish that we were able to create new memories. It hurt to not have him at my graduations, walk me down the aisle on my wedding day, or to have him be around as I prepare to become a parent.

On the other hand, I’m use to him not physically being here. It has almost gotten to the point where I think I would have a hard time recognizing his voice. This is heartbreaking to me since I tried so hard to preserve his voice in my memory by calling his answering machine multiple times in the days after his death even though I knew no one would pick up the phone.

To be completely honest, I have no idea where this blog post was going. I also hope these thoughts came out as more than a discombobulated mess. I am sorry if there are a lot of grammatical errors since I couldn’t reread this post without getting upset.  All I wanted to say was that I love and miss my dad and wherever he is, I hope he is watching a Giants game and sipping on a cold brewski.

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